Full Control, Not Cruise Control

Back in the USA, and back to the day in day out routines. Work, bills, grocery and oh yeaaaahhh complete control over my time.

Not so in Oman,no. There I have to give up my time to please others. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy pleasing my family and friends when I can and I am supportive and caring (mostly). BUT, I want to do so on my own terms. I want to choose the time and the method in which I show my affection. I don’t want to be told when and how to show it.

Family members and friends feel “entitled” to your time, to your space and heck even to your money ;-). Attending weddings & funerals, visiting new born & the ill, attending dinner & lunch invitations, casual visits for visit sake, are all “expected”. It is considered a “personal” offense if you don’t visit or attend one of their functions.
Also, because it is engraved in our conscious from a very early age that these events are all social “obligations”, you can easily be made to feel guilty if you even think to skip a visit or an occasion.
All that would not be a problem if the size of your family is small, but I have 14 siblings, multiply that by two for their husbands and wives then multiply that by 4 for average number of children in a family unit, then add the aunts, uncles, and cousins . . . get the idea????

Between the size, the entitlement culture and the guilty conscious, taking control over your own time becomes mission impossible. You see most people cannot live with guilt and cannot take constant naggings or words of emotional blackmailig.

To take control over your own time requires focus, awareness, assertiveness and savviness to maneuver around a conversation without alienating your family or friends and without lying. Phhhhheeeewwww that is exhausting! So some people choose the easy way out, to lie, all the time. To take control of their time they lose their truth, and that is sad.

Wouldn’t it be easier if everyone accepted these visits as gifts,not entitlements? Wouldn’t it be easier if we love our families and friends unconditionally? They don't have to visit or call to get my love, I love them any way, unconditionally.