Accept me . . .

Many friends describe me as an emotional, extrovert, and spontaneous. I would say they are about right in their descriptions. I would add that I am also very analytical sometimes. I am a free spirit, I want to make my own mistakes and to find my own answers.

It is who I am that probably made it difficult for me to live in Oman years ago. Then and at that age, all I knew was I could not be who I am and be accepted in the Omani culture. I had to conform to a certain mould built for the Omani society in general and within that mould another one built for my family in particular. I was of a different form and I was rigid. I could not fit.

The constant fight and the constant struggle to be true to who I am without being rejected, was hard on me. The emotions drove me crazy and made me miserable, which in turn made it difficult for my family. They thought marriage would be the answer. But I was not ready. The more I rejected marriage ideas the tighter the mould got on me. I felt squeezed out.

I found a place where no one cared from which family I came from, or what religion I follow, or what car I drive, or whether I was married or not. I found friends that cared to know me for who I am and they liked me just the way I was. They did not try to change me a bit.

I was happy to be accepted. I could focus my energy on being a productive member of the society rather than fighting the society. I could focus on healing my wounds and build my strength.

Over the years I tried to learn more of who I am and how I can be accepted in my culture without killing my spirit. The good thing about living in the US is accessibility to information and to resources. One could learn about anything she wishes to explore. So I read books and met with experts.
Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle to understand all my feelings and all my culture. But I have come a long ways a way from where I was.

Now, I am less rigid, stronger, happier and enjoy and cherish every moment with my family back in Oman. They learned to accept me the way I am and I learned to see things from their point of view.

I believe, I needed to be accepted just the way I was first, so I could learn how to accept myself, my family and my culture.